001.
WE DON’T DO "BALANCE." WE DO 4.0 GPAS, BLACKED‑OUT WEEKENDS, AND MIDNIGHT RITUALS BEHIND GREEK ROW. CLASS BY DAY, CANDLES AND BLOOD BY NIGHT. IF YOU’RE HERE TO "GET INVOLVED," JOIN STUDENT COUNCIL. IF YOU’RE HERE TO PUSH GRADES, BODIES, AND NERVES PAST THEIR BREAKING POINT, YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. SHOW UP SHARP, DRESSED NICE, PHONE CHARGED, AND READY TO SEE HOW FAR A HUMAN BEING CAN GO UNTIL THEY FORGET HOW TO PRAY.
002.
WE ARE NOT A SUPPORT GROUP. WE ARE NOT YOUR "BROTHERHOOD." WE ARE A TARGET LIST WITH A KEG. YOUR JOB IS TO FIND NEW SUBJECTS: LONELY KIDS, RICH IDIOTS, EXCHANGE STUDENTS, ANYONE WHO THINKS CAMPUS SECURITY WILL SAVE THEM. YOU BRING NAMES, HABITS, AND WEAK SPOTS. WE HANDLE THE REST. NO COPS, NO COUNSELORS, NO LAST‑MINUTE CONSCIENCE. IF YOU FEEL BAD, DRINK MORE. IF YOU STILL FEEL BAD, LOG OFF AND PRETEND YOU NEVER SAW THIS. WE DON'T DO 'SORRY', WE DO RESULTS ONLY.
003.
TOWNIES HAVE POLICIES. WE HAVE TRADITIONS. YOU SHOW UP WHEN CALLED, BROKEN OR SMILING, DOESN’T MATTER. YOU CHIP IN CASH, DRUGS, RIDES, ALIBIS. THE KING PROVIDES. FOOTAGE STAYS WITH US. STORIES STAY WITH US. ANYTHING WE TAKE STAYS IN THE CIRCLE. YOU DO NOT TALK TO ADMIN, CAMPUS MINISTRY, POLICE, OR ANYONE WHO SIGNS EMAILS "SINCERELY." YOU DON’T WALK AWAY CLEAN. YOU WANT OUT, YOU PAY OUT, AND THE HOUSE SETS THE PRICE.